The Gift of Whatever
We have envisioned this moment for days, weeks even. The stockings are spilling over with specially selected treats, presents are stacked in front of the tree, there is nothing but a few crumbs remaining on the plate of cookies left for Santa. You have picked out the most adorable outfit for your little girl to wear. Your husband has been given instructions to start mixing up some pancakes for breakfast.
Everything is perfect...just like you envisioned.
Then "it" happens, your daughter won't look at the camera for you to take a single picture, it's Christmas morning you need a picture, preferable one were she looks half way happy. Fine. You try to move on but the baby is screaming he just wants to nurse himself to sleep, maybe he shouldn't have gotten up before the sun, you think to yourself. You lay him on the floor with some toys and try to keep him from eating all the wrapping paper that is distracting him, for now. Then your husband asks, "Do we have any eggs? I need eggs for the pancakes." Crap. You knew you forgot something, but of coarse you forgot something, you always forget something. So much for pancakes, bacon and cereal it is. You have failed your entire family, they are having a cold breakfast of Special K on Christmas. Your daughter opens her first gift, she squeals with delight. The moment is saved. It's a game, Hungry Hippos, something you choose yourself (not on Santa'a list), success. She immediately wants to play, your husband opens it up. "Honey, I need 4 AA batteries?" What the heck? I swore it said AAA. "They would be at the store with the eggs." I replied (annoyed). "I'll run out and get some" he offers trying to save the moment. But I don't want him to go, it's Christmas morning, he shouldn't be at the store he should be home with us. It's only 8:30am and I feel defeated and irritated. Why can't anything go right, the way I plan it?
No this didn't happen, not yet at least, it is only December 13th, but it could happen. Why do so many holidays, birthdays, special occasions, or just random days even end it defeat, disappointment, and irritation? Days that were suppose to be happy, fun, and memorable for good reasons. Because we set ourselves up for failure, we set expectations, and plan exactly how things are suppose to go. When I say "we" I mean Moms, Moms with good intentions, we love our families and want everything to be perfect for them.
When we give our family the gift of expectations, we expect them to "perform" according to our plan, the script only we know. When they don't (which they won't), we're disappointed and everyone is frustrated, all in the name of Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year. If we gave the gift of whatever, and decided no matter what happened we would choose to be happy and grateful, it would be a much more enjoyable holiday for everyone.
Our only expectations should be of ourselves. Expecting ourselves to be kind. Expecting ourselves to be loving. Expecting ourselves to be grateful. Expecting ourselves to be willing to be happy with whatever. Expecting ourselves to remember the true meaning of Christmas.
I will be the first to admit I am guilty of this. I vow to give my family the gift of whatever for Christmas and all the holidays, birthdays, and special occasions to come. For me, I know it will take prayer and determination to break this habit but the reward is happier, more peaceful, time with the ones I love and for that I am willing to give it an honest effort.
Wishing you and yours a happy, fun, whatever filled Christmas!
Everything is perfect...just like you envisioned.
Then "it" happens, your daughter won't look at the camera for you to take a single picture, it's Christmas morning you need a picture, preferable one were she looks half way happy. Fine. You try to move on but the baby is screaming he just wants to nurse himself to sleep, maybe he shouldn't have gotten up before the sun, you think to yourself. You lay him on the floor with some toys and try to keep him from eating all the wrapping paper that is distracting him, for now. Then your husband asks, "Do we have any eggs? I need eggs for the pancakes." Crap. You knew you forgot something, but of coarse you forgot something, you always forget something. So much for pancakes, bacon and cereal it is. You have failed your entire family, they are having a cold breakfast of Special K on Christmas. Your daughter opens her first gift, she squeals with delight. The moment is saved. It's a game, Hungry Hippos, something you choose yourself (not on Santa'a list), success. She immediately wants to play, your husband opens it up. "Honey, I need 4 AA batteries?" What the heck? I swore it said AAA. "They would be at the store with the eggs." I replied (annoyed). "I'll run out and get some" he offers trying to save the moment. But I don't want him to go, it's Christmas morning, he shouldn't be at the store he should be home with us. It's only 8:30am and I feel defeated and irritated. Why can't anything go right, the way I plan it?
No this didn't happen, not yet at least, it is only December 13th, but it could happen. Why do so many holidays, birthdays, special occasions, or just random days even end it defeat, disappointment, and irritation? Days that were suppose to be happy, fun, and memorable for good reasons. Because we set ourselves up for failure, we set expectations, and plan exactly how things are suppose to go. When I say "we" I mean Moms, Moms with good intentions, we love our families and want everything to be perfect for them.
When we give our family the gift of expectations, we expect them to "perform" according to our plan, the script only we know. When they don't (which they won't), we're disappointed and everyone is frustrated, all in the name of Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year. If we gave the gift of whatever, and decided no matter what happened we would choose to be happy and grateful, it would be a much more enjoyable holiday for everyone.
Our only expectations should be of ourselves. Expecting ourselves to be kind. Expecting ourselves to be loving. Expecting ourselves to be grateful. Expecting ourselves to be willing to be happy with whatever. Expecting ourselves to remember the true meaning of Christmas.
I will be the first to admit I am guilty of this. I vow to give my family the gift of whatever for Christmas and all the holidays, birthdays, and special occasions to come. For me, I know it will take prayer and determination to break this habit but the reward is happier, more peaceful, time with the ones I love and for that I am willing to give it an honest effort.
Wishing you and yours a happy, fun, whatever filled Christmas!
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
James 1:17
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