Social Media and the Enemy of Comparison

Can we all just be honest for a few minutes?  Facebook isn't real life.  Instagram isn't real life.  Heck, at best it's probably 25% real life for most people.  Don't get me wrong I am a bit addicted to these forms of social media, shamefully to the point that I feel like I should deactivate my Facebook but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it yet!  

We crop our pictures and carefully word our captions and hashtags to portray our very best.  It's only natural to want to "put our best foot forward" but if we aren't careful the enemy of comparison starts to creep in and allow us to believe this life our "friends" portray on social media is all there is to their life.  That's just not the truth!  So…I'm going to keep it real and share a behind (the Facebook and Instagram) scene look at my life, my real life. 

Here's my sweet girl posing on our front porch.  Now normally I would angle the picture differently or crop out those dead ferns that have been dead most the entire summer, because I can't for the life of me remember to water outside plants but I'm "keeping it real!" Guess what?  In a few weeks I'll replace them with pretty mums and take some pictures before they die a few weeks later. 

I hate doing dishes!!  It is my least favorite household chore.  Luckily, Brandon doesn't seem to mind picking up the slack because our great big ole farmhouse sink usually looks like this. And yup while we're "keeping it real" that's a bottle washing brush in the background because my 2 year old still insists on drinking his milk from a bottle and I've chosen not to fight that battle yet.  Which is why I spared that little detail when talking to his pediatrician at his recent well visit.  The sad part is his bottle addiction only started 3 months ago when he stopped breastfeeding. 

So…yeah, I fell off the Whole30 wagon last week on vacation, and rolled down the hill, all the way to Duck Donuts, Ice Cream, French Fries, Pancakes, and CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES.  I'm trying to desperately to climb back on the wagon because I seriously felt so…much better when I was eating better.  But clearly the struggle is real because right above my spinach, and sandwiched between my kombucha and zucchini is cookie dough (that I bought for the "kids").  But I am also giving myself a little grace because it's the Whole30 not the Whole365 for a reason ;)

I just woke this sweet sleepy eyed boy up from his nap, because it was 5:00pm, he'd been asleep for 3 hours, and the bedtime struggle has been a beast since we got home from vacation last weekend.  But he did wake up happy!  Note…he is still in his pajamas and it's 5:00pm.  We like pajamas around here. 

This is me…giving the kids a bath and being so ready for them to be asleep so I can have a few minutes to relax with peace and quiet.  I absolutely love them to pieces but sometimes I just need "me time."  Between summer and vacation our bedtime routine has gotten pushed later and later and lately I'm lucky if I can get both kids to sleep by 10:00pm (ugh)!  We need to work on this…for real! 

Moral of this post:  You can't be happy and envious or prideful at the same time; the enemy of comparison steals your joy!  

We all log on to Facebook and Instagram with the same good intentions, look at friends new pictures, make sure no one has announced a new pregnancy, birth, engagement, etc, and see if anyone posted a prayer request.  

Enviably we're sucked in and it starts… 

We see a picture of our friend with her kids at the park and think "she's such a good Mom, we didn't even leave the house today."

We see another friend wearing a less than flattering outfit and think "did she really think that looked good, has she gained weight?"

We see a mushy post a friend writes about her husband and think "when was the last time my husband and I even went on a date, they have such a great marriage."

We see a friend post a picture from yet another beautiful vacation and think "they get to go on vacation every other month I wish we could afford that many vacations."

We see a friend post a picture of the amazing dinner she just cooked and think "wow…I'm sure she found that recipe on Pinterest, I should cook more, we had a frozen pizza for dinner."

We see a friend post a scripture verse and think "didn't she just post pictures a couple days ago of her and bunch of friends taking shots and getting drunk?"

We see a friend post a selfie and think "she's so pretty, I wish I had her looks."

And these are just a few examples.  Stop comparing your life, home, kids, appearance, weight, diet, creativity, vehicle, husband, etc. to everyone else's.  Remember everyone has a "behind the scenes" life.  No one looks perfect all the time, eats clean all the time, is madly in love with their husband all the time,  is a fun parent all the time, etc.  If they tell you they are…they're lying! 

Comparison only accomplishes one of two things:  it either makes you feel better than the person you are comparing yourself to leading to pride or it makes you feel worse than the person you are comparing yourself to leading to low-self esteem and envy.  Both are sinful and will steal your happiness and joy. 

God made us each unique (thank goodness).  We all have different strengths and weaknesses different failures and triumphs.  He intended for us to love each other through them and use our differences to strengthen each other, we can't do this if we are too busy comparing ourselves to others.  

View social media for what it really is…an edited glimpse into other peoples lives.  

“Let everyone be sure to do his very best, for then he will have the personal satisfaction of work done well and won’t need to compare himself with someone else” (Galatians 6:4 LB).